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The day before Hurricane Sandy hit New York City I had one main concern: I hope my vagina looks awesome. I was on my way to a female group masturbation workshop where I was going to be “playing the clitar” in front of strangers for approximately five hours. If the world was ending, at least I was leaving with a bang. Multiple bangs if I was lucky.
The leader of the workshop is the legendary 83 - year-old sex educator, Betty Dodson. Talking to Betty, it’s impossible to believe she’s an octogenarian. Cursing like a sailor, laughing at her own jokes and telling raunchy stories, she’s like Bette Davis meets Honey Boo Boo. When I asked if she still jerks it she said, “Last month, I had a knockout. I went, ‘Whoa girl, you still got it.’”
Originally a fine artist, Betty changed careers in the '70s when she discovered feminism and the sexual revolution. She started going to group sex parties and while watching couples get down she noticed a pattern: All the men were climaxing and all the women were faking it. Not a single woman was having a real orgasm. She was so upset she decided to take matters into her own hands, and when I say “matters” I mean clits.
She explained, “Orgasms have been very important to my life. I’ve always really depended on them. In a bad mood? Jerk off. Confused? Masturbate. Working on a painting and I’m stuck? Go lay down on the couch and have an orgasm.”
When I arrived at the apartment, Carlin Ross, Betty’s smokin’ hot protégé, opened the door completely nude. “Take off your clothes in the foyer and then meet us in the main room,” she said. Things were becoming very Eyes Wide Shut , very fast. I was in mid-strip, when the front door opened and in walked one of my classmates. I pretended not to be naked from the waist down and introduced myself.